The Cathedral is my spiritual home. Without the Cathedral, and its parish community, I might not be a Catholic, never mind training to be a priest.

It was through the Cathedral’s RCIA group that I was introduced fully to the faith and, on Easter Sunday at the Cathedral in 2016, received into the Catholic Church.

Being part of the RCIA programme was a profound experience.

I felt the truth of Jesus Christ growing in me, in the depth of my being, and was continually moved by the piety of the volunteers.

They would be there, always smiling, to welcome us enquirers, despite some of them having come straight from work (and surely exhausted) yet still willing to do this Christian service.

I remember how one evening a young priest from Africa explained his clerical garments and their ritual significance, before vesting and saying Mass.

I was struck as much by the beauty of his faith as by anything.

I remember asking him “how long did your training as a priest take?”

When I said this, one of the RCIA volunteers said to me “It’s not too late to get your application in, Paul!”

That really stuck in my mind, even though, at fifty-one, I presumed I must be too old to train to be a priest.

Beauty of the Mass

When I started RCIA, I thought I should acclimatise myself better to the liturgy, so started attending the twelve-noon Mass.

It wasn’t long before my eyes would fill with tears as I sang the Latin Creed joyously with the others: “Et expecto resurrectionem mortuorum…!”

I was so moved at the aching beauty of the Mass and can honestly say that the Cathedral choir was thus part of my conversion, as was the devotion of the congregation, and whoever was responsible for the incredible flowers that appeared each week.

I remember Masses when Fr Patrick Burke was celebrating without a Deacon.

I can’t quite explain why, but the image of him on those occasions burnt itself in my memory, an isolated Catholic Priest acting in persona Christi.

I loved the multicultural congregation as well, the myriad of Europeans and “ethnic minorities”, so different from the very white Anglican church I was used to.

Confirmation

My eventual Confirmation in 2016 left me feeling so content.

There were drinks with the archbishop, clergy, and others, after that Easter Vigil, for those who had been baptised and confirmed at the cathedral that evening, and I had the strongest feeling that I had come “home”, by joining a truly global Catholic Church.

Just over two months later, on 23 June as it happened: I went to see Fr Patrick with a strong feeling I wished to serve the Church in a deeper way.

I’ll never forget the leap of joy in my heart when he asked if I’d considered the priesthood.

I will not forget the date, partly because it was the day of the Referendum on whether the UK should leave the European Union!

I asked him if there was any possibility I could look into the Permanent Diaconate.

I’ll never forget the leap of joy in my heart when he asked if I’d considered the priesthood.

At the meeting, he continued to say that, at my age, I would probably be sent to the Beda College in Rome. Strange though it is, I immediately knew I was going to this college I’d never heard of in Rome.

Following the call

The next day I called people close to me and told them that I was offering myself as a Catholic priest.

I can honestly say I felt something of the rushing wind of the Holy Spirit pushing me forward.

That said, it took me considerable effort to extricate myself from my career and life in Edinburgh in order to follow the call.

In case this doesn’t sound all too rosy-tinted, I must add that before starting RCIA at this wonderful Cathedral, at the recommendation of a friend, I had approached two Catholic priests asking for advice on becoming a Roman Catholic.

In both cases, I had the strong impression that they were almost bemused at the idea, as if they could not understand why anyone might want to join.

It really was through Fr Patrick that I finally glimpsed the heights and the depth and the incomparable grandeur of the Catholic Church and understood that (as the Magisterium puts it) the Body of Christ ‘subsists’ in the Catholic Church, mystically and physically embodied in the institutional Church we see with our eyes, in our congregations, in its liturgy and its social action around the world.

I was also struck by Fr Patrick’s ability to reveal the depth of the Scriptures in his sermons.

Cathedral community

I’ve had such good connections formed with the Cathedral community that in many ways it has become like a family.

It gives me joy that my sister Rowena followed me, joining a later Cathedral RCIA programme and being confirmed in the Cathedral.

Also, my good friends Diana and her children Catherine-Charlotte and Iain, were likewise confirmed into the Cathedral in 2021.

The Cathedral has as well, for the time being anyway, literally become my home. When I left for the preparatory seminary in Salamanca at the start of 2020, Covid hit, and I had to return to Scotland.

Fr Patrick very kindly let me stay at the Cathedral, as I no longer had a place of my own.

This kind offer has extended to the present and I’ve stayed at the Cathedral during breaks from here at the Pontifical Beda College in southwest Rome.

Finally, I would like to acknowledge that I would never be here if Archbishop Leo had not approved it. I am extremely grateful for all the support he has given me.

Indeed, I am indebted to the whole Cathedral community who have been so supportive of my journey. Thank you.

Paul Henderson will be ordained a Deacon by Archbishop Leo Cushley at the Papal Basilica of St Paul Outside the Walls in Rome on Wednesday 14 June 2023. He will be ordained alongside Peter Shanklans, who is also a parishioner of the Cathedral. Read his story here. This article first appeared in Crux, the magazine of the Friends of St Mary's Cathedral, Edinburgh, Spring 2023 edition.